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The Bear Experience
An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!
'What powerful rivers!
'What beautiful animals!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river,
he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge
towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over
his shoulder
& saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was
even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear
was right on top
of
him, reaching for him with his
left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out
of the sky.
'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others
I don't exist
and even credit
creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?
The atheist looked directly into the light,
'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you
to treat me as a
Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a
Christian'?
' Very Well,' said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear
dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed
his head & spoke:
'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from
thy bounty
through Christ our Lord, Amen
Last But Not The Least
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming
truck, and everyone inside dies. as they stand at the
pearly gates waiting to enter paradise and meet their
maker,
God decides to grant each person one wish because of
the grief they have experienced.
they're all lined up, and God asks the first one what
his wish is. " i want to be gorgeous", and
so God snaps his fingers and the wish is granted. the
second one in line hears this and says "i want
to be gorgeous too" Another snap of his fingers
and the wish is granted.
this goes on for a while with each one asking to be
gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the
last guy in the line starts laughing.
whent there are only ten people left, the guy starts
rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reches this las t guy and asks him what
his wish will be. the guy eventually calms down and
says "Make em all ugly again."
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