NAMING
KIDS
There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly
before they were due, she had an accident and went into
a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable
to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to
her twins, and the only person around to name her children
was her brother.
When the mother came out of her coma to find she had
given birth and that her brother had named the twins,
she became very worried, because he wasn't a very bright
guy. She was sure he had named them something absurd
or stupid.
When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins.
He said, "The first one was a girl." 
The mother: "What did you name her?!?"
Brother: "Denise!"
The Mom: "Oh, wow, that's not bad! What about
the second one?"
Brother: "The second one was a boy."
The Mom: "Oh, and what did you name him?"
Brother: "Denephew."
DEFINITIONS OF TEENAGERS
A Teenager is...
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never
forgets a phone number.
A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy
bars before breakfast.
A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday,
spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best
friend on Wednesday.
Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three
blocks away but not his mother calling from the next
room.
A whiz who can operate the latest computer without
a lesson but can't make a bed.
A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her
history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.
A youngster who is well informed about anything he
doesn't have to study.
An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for
miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and
Very Loud.
A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.
A person who is always late for dinner but always on
time for a rock concert.
A romantic who never falls in love more than once a
week.
A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces
come off.
A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when
he suspects the lawn needs mowing.
An original thinker who is positive that her mother
was never a teenager
|